Guide to SWOTVAC: Eat Your Feelings & Drown Your Sorrows

Guide to SWOTVAC: Eat Your Feelings & Drown Your Sorrows

SWOTVAC: The darkest hour of student life. The notorious 7-day period when grooming and bathing are foregone, tracksuit pants become your wardrobe staple, venturing outside is a thing of the past, dazed is your permanent state of being and your communication skills revert to that of our primitive ancestors.

So very bleak. So very grim.

Solidarity, my friends.

We’re here to offer you outlets for your emotional turbulence and general feelings of despair, should you be able to stomach it.




Procrastineat – could be a typo or quite possibly the truest and most perilous form of procrastination in #studentlife. SWOTVAC entirely negates the prescribed 3 wholesome meals per day rule our society is built upon, instead your diet will predominantly consist of caffeinated drinks, baked goods, ready-made instant meals and fast food – that’s if stress hasn’t erased your appetite completely.

Whether you’ve got an insatiable sweet tooth or like things on the savory end of the comfort food spectrum, here’s a list of places to indulge and #treatyourself to a much-needed serotonin spike.




Sweets (because whoever said dessert doesn’t constitute a meal is no friend of mine)


Pidapipo –decadently scrumptious gelato is the perfect afternoon delight after a long day of hitting the books. They’re also open until late and are just a hop, skip and a jump from campus on Lygon Street 😉

Doughboys Donuts – the epitome of a food trend done right. Sink your teeth into one of these bad boys and all your study troubles will be forgotten, albeit until the sugar rush subsides. Located next to the Vic Market, it’s perfect for a study break stroll to collect one (or six).

Mörk Chocolate – the walk to North Melbourne is more than worth your while to sample one of their absolutely divine hot chocolates. They have a flavor to tickle anyone’s fancy – it’s the perfect treat to keep you going during these exceedingly tough times.


Non-Sweets (otherwise known as savoury – also good, but doesn’t quite leave you with the same comfort food-induced guilt the sweeter stuff does)


Seven Seeds – All-day breakfast menu and a stone’s throw from The Spot. Say no more.

Belle’s Hot Chicken – A short (-ish enough) walk from campus will find you on Gertrude Street, Fitzroy at what is somewhat of an institution when it comes to fried chicken. Get around ‘er.

Rockwell & Sons – Burgers are very farshun, but for good reason. Smith Street isn’t super close to campus but makes for a decent study break. Indulge in the perfect balance of tantalizingly heart-stopping combinations of fats and carbs that’ll knock your 3-day-old socks off.


Can’t afford the time away from your books? Here are some delivery options:

Pronto Pizza – An old student fave based in Union House. A perfect option for ‘study groups’ (eating a whole pizza yourself is completely fine, the subsequent food comas are not)

Miss Chu – Delicious and nutritious Vietnamese with cheap delivery! What more could you want?



So, you’ve made it through exams with the help of our esteemed advice. Congrats, it’s time to celebrate.

The university After Exams Parties (AXPs) are nights (not) to remember. If you feel the need to purge all those brain cells you crammed in over the past few weeks, by all means go wild.

However, my idea of a perfect AXP (after exams party) involves pajamas, a bottle of red, Carl Sagan and exorbitantly priced cheese. Either that or drinks with mates at a local listed below.


Whether you need to drown your sorrows or have a triumphant tipple post-exams, these are the venues for you:

The Rochester – Nothing like drowning your sorrows with craft beer and feasting on soul food, whilst making plans to be more productive than ever next semester (wishful thinking).

Milk the Cow – treat yourself. Nothing cheese and a wine, whiskey or beer pairing can’t fix. What a way to bring in a month of well-earned holidays.

Bimbo Deluxe – no perfect way to line your stomach before a big night than with $4 pizza at one of Melbourne’s finest institutions.

Sister Bella – hidden in a laneway next to Melbourne Central, the nightly drink specials (7-9pm) will warm you up and reinvigorate your zest for life after a particularly tumultuous exam period.

Rooftop Bar – rug up and have a brewskie with a viewskie at John Curtin House. You can’t go past rooftop as an old student fave, many a classes have been skipped to enjoy a bev in the sunshine amongst the eclectic crowd the venue draws.



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